Thursday, 24 May 2018

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

To the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

                           Résultat de recherche d'images pour "the long man sussex"

If there was anywhere on earth to become the Duke and Duchess of; surely the best must be Sussex.

I cannot claim to be a native of Sussex, as was my father (I was born just over the border in Surrey), but for most of my UK residency I lived in Sussex. It is not known as 'Heaven on Earth' for nothing.

Your Graces; I would like to be amongst the first to officially invite you down to Sexy Sussex. We could put-you-up overnight in Brighton, maybe order ourselves an 'Indian', then I'll take you on a tour the following morning.

Firstly we would head for Chanctonbury Ring, which, as everyone knows, is the very centre of The Garden of Eden; and you will see why it was so perfectly chosen.

After a brisk walk, we'll go for lunch at The Shepherd and Dog in Fulking.

Having partaken of good Sussex Ale and Sausages I'll take you on a short roundabout tour of your new Duchy, to show you some of the delights that you might otherwise miss.

We'll go through Steyning, (which in times past was actually a sea port), then on to Storrington and beautiful West Chiltington (I'll show you the lovely thatched house where I used to live), then north to Horsham (pronounced Hors-am; not Hor-sham) where my father was at school.

From Horsham we'll head South again through stunning countryside back towards Lewes (the county town of E Sussex), then on to Charleston Farmhouse to look at some Bloomsbury painting and decor. Then finally on to Wilmington where we'll admire The Long Man (photo above). Here we'll have a flask of tea (Lapsang), with some of Lady Magnon's Lemon drizzle cake and Cucumber sandwiches; I'll bring a couple of tartan blankets.

May I suggest that you borrow a helicopter for the trip. Being such a beautiful and popular county, our roads tend to be quite congested; this is something you may like to look into at a later date.

Let me know when you're both available, and I'll make the necessary arrangements.


Tuesday, 22 May 2018

For Sale.

This old Tobacco Drying Barn is, once again, for sale. It was bought a few years back by a couple of architects, but problems befel them and their project fell-through. It's now back on the market.

It recently suffered quite badly from a violent storm, and a few bits fell off, but it's still just about OK.

I've often thought about buying it and making part of it into a big lofty downstairs studio, with a small apartment above. This would only take about a third of the available space, and would leave plenty of barn/storage/garage space.

The big studio windows would need to face East-ish; a tiny bit annoying if one was working in the early mornings (my studio is the same).

It isn't ideally situated. It's on the corner of two roads, it's quite close to other houses, and it's just 50 metres from the light-coloured semi derelict building on the left (above), which is directly opposite the main entrance to our super new 'HOLIDAY VILLAGE'. As I say; not an ideal location.

It comes with 4,000 square metres of slightly sloping land, and with water and electricity already in situ.

However, there's one very big problem; the asking price is a whopping €52,000. Far far too much. I might go to €3,000, but no higher.

I see it remaining unsold for a very long while; at that price it may even fall down before finding a buyer.

Monday, 21 May 2018

Pastor Jesse King.

Look, I'm not making any comparisons here; honestly.... but haven't I seen this guy somewhere else recently?

Sunday, 20 May 2018

How to make Bouillabaisse.

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There is more rubbish spoken about the recipe for Bouillabaisse, than there is even for Cassoulet.

To add to all this rubbish here is the 100% authentic version; complete with the accent required to make it. I don't seem able to post the video itself, but just click on the link.... you won't be sorry!

You can't argue with this bloke....Enjoy.

Saturday, 19 May 2018

Went the day well?

Well, what did you think of it?

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I had intended to watch for about 10 minutes but was glued to the screen until the end. What a great bit of theatre.

Some of the frocks were nightmares, some of the hats even worse, but the whole occasion was wonderful.

We shared the event with our friend MM (a well known Aussie writer and broadcaster), and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

We drank far too much Champagne, ate a very pleasant salad, and generally approved of everything (other than the length of the sermon).

What could have turned into a farce, became an almost perfect Royal occasion.

When the chips's are down, the Brits probably do the very best shows on earth.  Well done to all involved.

Let the fun commence!

Well, maybe not quite yet. With the water at a bone-chilling 17 C, I think it'll be a while before we take a dip. 

Opening-up the pool is always fraught with danger. Will the pump work? Will all the pipes be stuffed with Toads? Will the water itself be luminous green?

Luckily all was OK. There were about four dead Toads on the bottom, but that was quickly dealt with. The water was very clear, and with a good dose of 'flocculant' all will be sparkling again in a day or so.

It's so nice to see moving water again. Yesterday evening we even returned to drinking our 'aperos' by the pool. Bok dangled his front left paw in the water, and somehow everything returned to NORMAL.

And just in time for the wedding too.

p.s. Prince Charles's offer to accompany Ms Sparkle up the aisle has changed everything. From having become a farce, it has returned to (what one hopes) will be a sophisticated ceremony...... Voila!

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