Thursday, 1 June 2017

UK Election Special; a week to go!


                                 Résultat de recherche d'images pour "monkeys in cage"

I would never attempt to influence the way anyone votes, but here is my analysis of the Political Parties on offer for the upcoming bun fight.

Conservatives: Responsible, financially safe, grown-up, realistic, intelligent, the voice of reason.

Lib Dims: I'm not sure if they have any policies other than banning burkas, legalising Marijuana, and bunging a 5p tax on cardboard Costa/Starbucks coffee cups, so I can't really comment.

Greenies: Flowers, puppies, summer, kittens, bicycles, leaping lambs, floral-patterned Hunter wellies, and Laura Ashley dresses. A festival goer's option; yah.

Monster raving loonies: Frolics and Fun for the sub 80 IQ brigade. Err; no thanks.

Ukip: Spent force.

Labour/Trades Union: You'd need to read 'Das Kapital' to understand these Merry Marxists. You'd also need to support DAS KLASSEN STCHRUGGLE  .....Oh, and you'd have to adore the fragrant Diane Abbott (apparently someone did!). 

That's about it. Have fun voting, and don't blame me if the wrong bunch are elected; you were warned.



42 comments:

  1. Is it too early to comment? where is every body?

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    Replies
    1. They're hoping it might never happen; much as they did in the USA.

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  2. I have no opinion and knowledge about British politics , but I thought you were a greenie. Y
    your haddock, your puppies, your organic food and nature.
    ,

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    1. I may be a 'greenie' in my actions (most who vote 'green' aren't), but I still have some intelligence!

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    2. You consider greenies to be stupid ? In my country they have quite good ideas ,even if I do not vote for them.

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    3. Where did I say that greenies are 'stupid'? I just said that I, myself, am green in my actions. I certainly don't regard that as stupid. If you are to comment here please try to hold back your animosity. This piece is just a bit of fun!

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  3. Nice succinct explanations, even I can understand British politics.. What about Whigs and Tories, where do they come in?

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    Replies
    1. I've tried to break it down to just the important parties, but I did add the Socialists just for fun.

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  4. I like bicycles and puppies, perhaps I should have voted Green.

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    Replies
    1. Think green, behave green, but don't vote green. Their only MP just happens to be in my UK constituency, and she's done far too much damage already.

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    2. In Austria we have an independent-green- professor president who won narrowly after an unprecedented and massive campaign against his right wing conservative rival who originally won the first round. The new grey eminence says Austrian women should all wear the burkha to make it easier for the muslim women immigrants (refugees) to assimilate. He is a chain smoker and travels on public transport. I don't know if he likes bicycles or puppies and cuddly things.

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    3. All greenies love bikes; it's in the book.

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  5. I wouldn,t say that's British politics only England's.
    SNP is the only party who will win here, they have done well for us.

    Conservatives are lucky if they get 1 MP in the whole of Scotland.

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    1. I don't know much of Scottish politics, but I do like Wee Jimmy Kranky, and support her aim for independence.

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  6. Good Luck !

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  7. Emily Thornberry, another fine example of Labour's super intelligence. Food can't be exported to Oz, it will rot before it gets there. Doesn't she know her geography, it gets there quick, its downhill.

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    Replies
    1. One of the Islington luvvies. A Thornberry in everyone's side!

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you Sue, I try to be even-handed.

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  9. Nobody in Austria gives a monkey's about the UK election. They are more concerned of Trump's EU snub vis-a-vis climate change notwithstanding that their own tax on diesel is so low it's laughable and is something that no politician ever talks about. The other big story us a second government inquiry into the Euro-fighter Affair which concerns palm greasing and useless secondhand planes bought from Germany which are always breaking down and can't fly at night.

    I hope the Irish border problem can be solved amicably whoever wins. We don't want a return to walls, checkpoints and ghetto mentality.

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    Replies
    1. I think even in Austria they should be worried. If they were at all concerned about Le Pen, they should be shitting themselves over Corbyn.

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    2. Frau Merkel said following one of her meetings with Trump who demanded "a very big sum of money" to compensate for Germany's Nato contribution shortfall" that the "EU must now stand up for itself". The idea of an EU Army is already constantly propagated. Soldiers will doubtless have to speak French and German under the new Juncker "Englisch ist nicht mehr wichtig" directive. You can't have an army speaking 23 different languages. It would be chaos. They'd end up shooting each other or refusing to fight as happened in WWI.

      What will happen if Le Pen's party wins a majority in parliament. Is it possible? Will Macron be able to push through his policies?
      It surprises me that a party in existence for only one year can rule France. But maybe not the French.

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    3. Each member state now has to have one regiment for the EU army.

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    4. They will speak French, if an army is amassed. I read about it I think in the FT many years ago, pre-Brexit voting, that it was thought of and policy was talked about, that all countries should have the return of national service.

      Can you imagine the youth of the UK doing National Service? Most would need their Mums to write them notes that they need down time to play video games.

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    5. Nobody gives a fuck about Austria since Hitler emigrated to Germany either. Nice architecture, shame about the people.

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    6. Montenegro is shortlisted for quick EU entry. They can and should take over Britains role in the EU Army, since Britain will remain allied with the USA and NATO.

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    7. If "nobody gives a fuck" they are making a big mistake.

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    8. I cannot remember the last time Austria was newsworthy for any other reason than a madman going on the rampage. It has been utterly ignored since Mozart died and even The Sound of Music did not make much of an impact on sane people. Like I say, it's a nice place.

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  10. If Labour is to be qualified by the addition of Unions and Marxism, then surely the Tories need appendages such Big Business, Landed Gentry, Born to Privilege or Alf Garnett wannabees.

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  11. With the Greens you forgot Unicorns.
    With the raving loony monster party you forgot unicorns.
    With the United socialist soviet Republic party aka Labour you for got the magic money tree.

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    Replies
    1. love the magic money tree! I dont think they have an economist or even an accountant to guide them do they?

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    2. How very amiss you are Sol; they have Diane Abbott. One of the country's great financial strategists!

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    3. she cant even talk properly?

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    4. It's called 'Addled brain syndrome'.

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  12. elections and politicians come and go. A few show humanity for which they appear to be derided.
    However there are two quotes from past politicians/leaders that may set people thinking. (not literal quotes, I'm not good at remembering things like that!)
    To control the populace one must first instill fear,then appeal to their sense of patriotism. Then "strong and stable" I wonder how many know where those two originated.....

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    Replies
    1. Not in Das Kapital; I'm sure.

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    2. 1. 1930s...Goebbels
      2. 1926 ...Hitler,Mein Kampf

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  13. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR COMMENTS. I THINK WE'VE GOT THINGS SORTED. ROLL ON JUNE 8th.

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  14. Do you trust the tories to sort out a good deal for Brits living abroad? A lot of my friends in the Loire are not at all sure.

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