Sunday, 24 April 2016

The World's Most Difficult Job?



Imagine you work for an advertising agency, and your boss says 'I want you to think of an innovative way to describe a brand new miracle whitening toothpaste'.

My present one (above) claims 'White Now, Instant Triple Power, GOLD, with blue light technology'. Its claims only lacks 'Contains our revolutionary XZ27', or 'With the power of Dentogleem', or 'Developed by NASA', etc.


My usual brand suggests the hardness of diamonds, with 'Code White' whatever that is!

Surely every combination of words for extreme whiteness, and super-restorative enamel strength, has already been used; so, where do they go next!

I think I've seen more ridiculous descriptions on tubes of toothpaste than on any other product, other than on women's face creams, maybe, or wine labels, or exercise machines, or internet connection claims, or over 50's life insurance.... I could go on.

All suggestions welcome.




42 comments:

  1. You will have to show us your extra white teeth in your next photo. I stick to my not-so-white teeth as I try to use as few chemicals as possible in or on by body.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My hatred of dentists is reflected in the state of my teeth. Even Signal or Email Diamant can't improve that.

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  2. Oh yes, a bright, white, diamond hard smile in the next post please!

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    Replies
    1. Why do you think I never smile in photos!

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  3. It's the coffee and the wine that do the damage. You could try Photoshopping yourself a set of brilliant "gnashers" next time someone asks you to smile !

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  4. You lured me out of bed to inspect my 'Arm and Hammer' packaging. It guarantees 'three shades whiter'. What does that mean? Surely whiteness is a continuum. Anyway teeth aren't really meant to be white. They're more a creamy colour. I considered studying dentistry but then wisely decided that a clumsy women messing about in the confines of a person's mouth is not ideal. x

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    1. We were taught that a 'shade' was a darker version of a colour, and a 'tint' was a a lighter colour. It makes you wonder about your Arm and Hammer.

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  5. They may not be white like a snow capped mountain but at least they are all my own and homegrown.

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    Replies
    1. Mine are all homegrown too; even the missing ones.

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  6. Brushing teeth with bleach would be less damaging than some of the "teeth whitening" toothpastes on the market. Of course, I'm not suggesting brushing teeth with bleach. Greetings Maria x

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    Replies
    1. I'll buy a bucketful tomorrow... on your recommendation.

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    2. http://www.oddee.com/item_97125.aspx
      If you scroll down in the link you will read something on "Email diamond Rouge" toothpaste. Interesting.

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    3. Haha, that was interesting. Thank goodness mine is white. The tube in the top picture is really BLUE, which is seriously worrying.

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  7. Miss 21 would tell you that no whitening toothpaste can do the job as the manufacturers can't use the ingredients to the concentration required to be affective. It needs professional application at affective levels.

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    Replies
    1. I have a friend who regularly has his teeth whitened; he looks ridiculous!

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  8. Do you really need to sparkle and dazzle everyone?

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    Replies
    1. I gave up trying to sparkle in my 20's.

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  9. I hope you haven't been seduced by all that baloney on the toothpaste tubes Cro. Because that's what it is. Just a soft toothbrush (it's got to be soft, a hard one won't reach the spaces) and any 'el cheapo' toothpaste will do.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure you're right, but I still believe in miracles.

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  10. Your email diamante tube reminds me, do you remember the shoe whitener we used to paint on our tennis shoes?

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  11. My daughter had her teeth whitened by a dentist. They are not gleaming like those seen on TV personalities, but rather a very natural white. They do look very nice. I use whitening toothpaste, but unless I stop drinking tea and wine, I will never light up a room with my smile.

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    Replies
    1. Some can be SO WHITE. My friend who I mentioned above looks artificial.

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  12. Things were so much simpler in the days of 'SNIBBO'.

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    Replies
    1. I'm still wondering where the yellow went.

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  13. I have a revolutionary idea for advertising that seems to have been overlooked.
    Honesty.
    Then we can have things like "Get rid of those nasty yellow stains with Colgate Max White", "Unclog your colon with ExLax", and "Drive like a twat - buy an Audi".
    It could be so refreshing, but sadly I doubt it'll catch on.

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    Replies
    1. My late Aussie friend, Jock, told me of an ad' down under for X's beer. It simply said 'X's beer gets you drunk'; I believe it was very popular.

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    2. There is an Australian quick-start ethanol spray for carburettors called, 'START, YER BASTARD!'. This is true.

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    3. Gotta love the Aussies. Nobody else quite has that knack of telling it like it is.

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    4. No point in beating about the bush!

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  14. What is SNIBBO? Have I missed something?
    Margaret P

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    1. It's the other half of SNUBBO. Gawd only knows!

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    2. An early Monty Python, fictitious product which was never properly described. We applied that brand name to all sorts of things.

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  15. My yellow teeth blend in better with my complexion.

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    Replies
    1. My missing teeth blend in with my general knowledge!

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  16. Did you know that toothpaste is very good for stopping mosquito bites itching? It's also very good for removing tomato stains from clothes - apply a little to the stain, leave it in sunlight for half an hour and then rinse off. These are probably more effective than cleaning teeth !

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    Replies
    1. I used to have a friend who painted with it. Goodness knows what happened to his pictures after a few years!

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    2. It used to be good for filling little nail holes in a plaster wall.

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  17. I'm not sure if you've ever read the book "influence". A really interesting read about the power of advertising and how we're influenced by it. I was surprised by some of the thigns I was reading in it.

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    Replies
    1. I have made a conscious decision not to be influenced by advertising. I think I'm doing quite well so far.

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