Sunday 24 April 2016

The World's Most Difficult Job?



Imagine you work for an advertising agency, and your boss says 'I want you to think of an innovative way to describe a brand new miracle whitening toothpaste'.

My present one (above) claims 'White Now, Instant Triple Power, GOLD, with blue light technology'. Its claims only lacks 'Contains our revolutionary XZ27', or 'With the power of Dentogleem', or 'Developed by NASA', etc.


My usual brand suggests the hardness of diamonds, with 'Code White' whatever that is!

Surely every combination of words for extreme whiteness, and super-restorative enamel strength, has already been used; so, where do they go next!

I think I've seen more ridiculous descriptions on tubes of toothpaste than on any other product, other than on women's face creams, maybe, or wine labels, or exercise machines, or internet connection claims, or over 50's life insurance.... I could go on.

All suggestions welcome.




42 comments:

  1. You will have to show us your extra white teeth in your next photo. I stick to my not-so-white teeth as I try to use as few chemicals as possible in or on by body.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My hatred of dentists is reflected in the state of my teeth. Even Signal or Email Diamant can't improve that.

      Delete
  2. Oh yes, a bright, white, diamond hard smile in the next post please!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's the coffee and the wine that do the damage. You could try Photoshopping yourself a set of brilliant "gnashers" next time someone asks you to smile !

    ReplyDelete
  4. You lured me out of bed to inspect my 'Arm and Hammer' packaging. It guarantees 'three shades whiter'. What does that mean? Surely whiteness is a continuum. Anyway teeth aren't really meant to be white. They're more a creamy colour. I considered studying dentistry but then wisely decided that a clumsy women messing about in the confines of a person's mouth is not ideal. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We were taught that a 'shade' was a darker version of a colour, and a 'tint' was a a lighter colour. It makes you wonder about your Arm and Hammer.

      Delete
  5. They may not be white like a snow capped mountain but at least they are all my own and homegrown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine are all homegrown too; even the missing ones.

      Delete
  6. Brushing teeth with bleach would be less damaging than some of the "teeth whitening" toothpastes on the market. Of course, I'm not suggesting brushing teeth with bleach. Greetings Maria x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll buy a bucketful tomorrow... on your recommendation.

      Delete
    2. http://www.oddee.com/item_97125.aspx
      If you scroll down in the link you will read something on "Email diamond Rouge" toothpaste. Interesting.

      Delete
    3. Haha, that was interesting. Thank goodness mine is white. The tube in the top picture is really BLUE, which is seriously worrying.

      Delete
  7. Miss 21 would tell you that no whitening toothpaste can do the job as the manufacturers can't use the ingredients to the concentration required to be affective. It needs professional application at affective levels.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a friend who regularly has his teeth whitened; he looks ridiculous!

      Delete
  8. Do you really need to sparkle and dazzle everyone?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hope you haven't been seduced by all that baloney on the toothpaste tubes Cro. Because that's what it is. Just a soft toothbrush (it's got to be soft, a hard one won't reach the spaces) and any 'el cheapo' toothpaste will do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure you're right, but I still believe in miracles.

      Delete
  10. Your email diamante tube reminds me, do you remember the shoe whitener we used to paint on our tennis shoes?

    ReplyDelete
  11. My daughter had her teeth whitened by a dentist. They are not gleaming like those seen on TV personalities, but rather a very natural white. They do look very nice. I use whitening toothpaste, but unless I stop drinking tea and wine, I will never light up a room with my smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some can be SO WHITE. My friend who I mentioned above looks artificial.

      Delete
  12. Things were so much simpler in the days of 'SNIBBO'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still wondering where the yellow went.

      Delete
  13. I have a revolutionary idea for advertising that seems to have been overlooked.
    Honesty.
    Then we can have things like "Get rid of those nasty yellow stains with Colgate Max White", "Unclog your colon with ExLax", and "Drive like a twat - buy an Audi".
    It could be so refreshing, but sadly I doubt it'll catch on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My late Aussie friend, Jock, told me of an ad' down under for X's beer. It simply said 'X's beer gets you drunk'; I believe it was very popular.

      Delete
    2. There is an Australian quick-start ethanol spray for carburettors called, 'START, YER BASTARD!'. This is true.

      Delete
    3. Gotta love the Aussies. Nobody else quite has that knack of telling it like it is.

      Delete
    4. No point in beating about the bush!

      Delete
  14. What is SNIBBO? Have I missed something?
    Margaret P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the other half of SNUBBO. Gawd only knows!

      Delete
    2. An early Monty Python, fictitious product which was never properly described. We applied that brand name to all sorts of things.

      Delete
  15. My yellow teeth blend in better with my complexion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My missing teeth blend in with my general knowledge!

      Delete
  16. Did you know that toothpaste is very good for stopping mosquito bites itching? It's also very good for removing tomato stains from clothes - apply a little to the stain, leave it in sunlight for half an hour and then rinse off. These are probably more effective than cleaning teeth !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to have a friend who painted with it. Goodness knows what happened to his pictures after a few years!

      Delete
    2. It used to be good for filling little nail holes in a plaster wall.

      Delete
  17. I'm not sure if you've ever read the book "influence". A really interesting read about the power of advertising and how we're influenced by it. I was surprised by some of the thigns I was reading in it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have made a conscious decision not to be influenced by advertising. I think I'm doing quite well so far.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...