Tuesday, 19 April 2016

N.B. I am NOT the factory's handy man.



The nice lady ordered it.

A nice man delivered it.

Then the grumpy old sod had to put the bloody thing together. Why oh why does everything come in bits these days? 

I'm really pissed off.

Can I please buy something that comes ready to use, all in one assembled piece, no screwdrivers required.

Well, at least it went together reasonably quickly, and without TOO much swearing.



48 comments:

  1. My handyman just put together my new outdoor table and 6 chairs. If I had to put it together it will still be in many boxes !
    I also agree with the "Can I please buy something that comes ready to use."

    I love your new bench.
    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. I can't tell you how many wretched things I've had to assembly myself, over the past few years. It seems to be getting worse.

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    2. I seem to remember that years ago, in the UK at least, self assembly furniture wasn't subject to the same tax as ready assembled furniture, making it much cheaper. Don't know if that is still the case. These days we always ask before we buy.
      It's a beautiful bench Cro, and worthy of your efforts (and the swearing!). May you have many years of happy sitting !

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  2. I'm with you. Still working on my bike and there's a shed outside. I feel a little overwhelmed.

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    Replies
    1. Sheds are a nightmare. We're thinking of buying a Summer House, but I think I'd have to employ someone to assemble it. It would drive me to despair.

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    2. Please don't tell me that. I've just bought a new drill and electric screwdriver and thought it could be a 'fun' project for me and the boy at the weekend! x

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  3. Flatpack is the absolute bane of my existence. Bah humbug!

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  4. I just let the stuff sit until one of my daughter-in-laws tell their husbands to put it together

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  5. Replies
    1. The result is good, it was the getting there that raised my blood pressure.

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  6. The bench is pretty, worth the trouble and you made a neat job of it; perfectly assembled. Now for the cushions...I suggest you buy them ready made. Greetings Maria x

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    Replies
    1. You're right, I think Mr Lutyens must have had a very well padded bottom.

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    2. Maybe he never actually sat on the original - just admired it from afar.

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  7. That's why they invented husbands. Lovely bench.

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  8. Envy. Love the bench and well done for getting the back on the back and perhaps not having bits left over.
    The bench looks too good to leave out in all weathers.

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    Replies
    1. They look nice when well-weathered, and silvery grey.

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  9. Nice work Cro. Another annoying thing about furniture & stuff is that seemingly you cannot buy stuff in shops these days and take it away there and then. You have to wait for them to order it from the warehouse and deliver it in 3 weeks' time,even though it's obviously there in the shop right in front of you. And then when it's delivered there's something wrong with it and it has to go back, to be exchanged in yet another 3 weeks' time – Are my apostrophes in the right place....??

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    Replies
    1. You are describing modern times. Thank goodness they don't do the same with fruit, meat, and vegs.

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  10. A word with Lady M before she orders anything perhaps?
    Arilx

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    Replies
    1. My words fall upon deaf ears (especially when it comes to self-assembly stuff).

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  11. Gorgeous bench. I need to get one to entertain Mr Him for 3 weeks.

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    Replies
    1. 3 weeks? He could make one from scratch in that time.

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  12. Think of all the extra lorries on the road if everything came already assembled.
    Lovely bench, by the way.

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    Replies
    1. Our delivery man (it's usually the same one) knows his way to our house with his eyes shut. We're almost 'family'.

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    2. Jenny and I refuse to buy anything that involves self-assembly. We know we're bound to make a mess of it somehow. We're happy to pay a bit extra for something that comes ready-to-use.

      That's a very nice bench, though.

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  13. Ha! I try very hard to stay out of my husband's way when he has to put something together.

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  14. Beautiful bench, my daughter is the one who puts every thing together, i can wait sometimes weeks even years...

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    Replies
    1. Lady Magnon has a whip.... I'm not allowed to take time off.

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  15. Your bench is perfect and will blend in beautifully with it's surroundings Cro.
    We ordered a new garden table and chairs last year ..... not self assembly but, the first lot arrived badly packaged and the chairs were broken. They were sent back and a new lot came ..... broken !!! The company tried to blame it on Royal Mail !! We finally ordered the same ones from somewhere else and they were beautifully packaged and perfect !
    At least with fllat pack furniture they stand less chance of being broken.
    Wishing you many happy hours drinking vin rouge on your new bench. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually there was one crucial bit that was split, and I had to do a swift bit of mending. Otherwise it was all OK. It wasn't bad enough to be sent back, and is now stronger than it would have been had it not split.

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  16. This post reminded me of a funny picture I saw somewhere. It had a mixing bowl filled with flour, another bowl with eggs in it (and the eggshells on the counter beside it) and an electric mixer. The caption read: "Happy Birthday Ikea! I got you a cake!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still waiting for a 'make your own shoes' kit. Bit of leather, some laces, and some soles.

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  17. Putting things together is bad enough, but what drives my husband around the bend is trying to decipher the instructions! Often the English is badly translated from the original language...

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    Replies
    1. This one was very simple (thank goodness); and nothing left over!

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    2. By the same people who man the call centres!

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  18. Replies
    1. It's certainly more attractive than some.

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  19. Replies
    1. In English, unless I'm with a lot of French people.

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  20. This is one I made earlier.

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  21. It's frustrating to most of us. We want it delivered in a box, all put together and ready to set into place. Apparently, that is not done anymore unless you pay a very high price. The kind lady is lucky to have a (grumpy) handyman to do the labor needed.

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    Replies
    1. She's lucky for the moment, but I shall be saying 'NO' if this goes on.

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