Thursday, 12 November 2015

An Ode to Man-Flu.


                                               Afficher l'image d'origine

Sneeze, splutter, cough, pills,

aching muscles, shivering chills.

Tablets, potions, aching bones,

panaceas, rugs, and desperate moans.

Bed, and books, and tissue packs,

snot, and phlegm, and coughing hacks.

Soup, and toast, and calves-foot jelly,

Radio four; vapour rub smelly.


© Cro Magnon, 2015.




34 comments:

  1. Loved this! you're quite the poet.....feel better.

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    Replies
    1. No I haven't got a cold; maybe I should have kept it until I did.

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  2. Got a cold have you? Beware Lady M might come in with the Pill bottle and administer as above. Calves-foot jelly and vapour rub smelly reminds me of Greyfriars School sanitorium.

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    Replies
    1. Goose fat for me; it's traditional hereabouts.

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    2. What do you do with goose fat? Never heard of it.

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    3. And then rub it on your chest.

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  3. Replies
    1. Simple; I am. Effective; not so sure.

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  4. Atishoo !! You had us fooled there Cro! Where's the Friar's Balsam?

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    Replies
    1. Lady Magnon has had Woman Flu for the last week or so; she's desperate to pass it on to me, but I'm not having it.

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  5. Love the bottle of pills...
    And your very good, concise pome!

    Another cure for man flu...
    Double Advocaat with a Wood's 100 black rum stirred in....
    looks a bit brown and murky like all good medicines....
    take this with a couple of asprin [soluble]...
    let them "melt in the mouth" first...
    three extra duvets on the bed, two hot water bottles in it...
    after the asprin, down the rum/advocaat mix and straight into bed.
    You have to wring the sheets out the following morning... but it works!

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    Replies
    1. Good lord, no birch twigs after midnight?

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    2. Never found them necessary!!
      Besides, they would make the bed very uncomfortable...

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  6. Superb poem. Hope you don't catch Lady M's flu!

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    Replies
    1. I try not to, but she does like to cough in my direction.

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  7. I never heard before about the man flu, i knew it ecxist because i saw some men having the flu here, and i always thught that it is totaly different from ours...

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    Replies
    1. Men suffer much more than women; it's genetic.

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  8. Do I take it you have it and are indulging in all these remedies??

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    Replies
    1. No, I don't, Weave. I was thinking of Tom Stephenson.

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  9. Glad to say I haven't had flu for many years. Having the annual flu jab probably helps. I seem to remember it's a pretty horrible experience. Do men complain more than women? I couldn't say, but personally I just take mega-doses of vitamin C and soldier on stoically.

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    Replies
    1. I think I've only had pukka Flu once in my life, and it was nasty. Best advice is to keep well away from anyone who seems to be suffering.

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  10. Hope the Lady gets well soon and you manage to avoid the dreaded 'flu'.

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    Replies
    1. She's not too bad now; coughing a bit.

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  11. This reminds me to get my flu shot sooner than later.

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    Replies
    1. I had one last year, not sure if I will this year.

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  12. We've had a very nasty strain of flu here this year. "Brisbane flu" , specially named for us. All advice is to get a flu shot. It comes on very quickly and can be fatal within 24 hours. ( hope Mrs Cro is better soon )

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    Replies
    1. FATAL??? That sounds worse than nasty. Maybe I'll get my jab after all.

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  13. I've never had a flu shot (part of the herd effect my husband says), but it is supposedly the most harmful to the very young and us older ones. I think of getting one every year, but never do.

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  14. Hope you're feeling better soon, I'm a terrible patient and an even worse nurse.

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    Replies
    1. It's not me that's ill; it's Lady Magnon. She's on the mend.

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  15. The photo is funny, and your poem does capture what flu's all about. Not funny. Hoping Lady Magnon is completely well very soon.

    I don't always get flu shots, but did get one last month. The other arm got a tetanus update. My right arm was quite sore afterwards, but I truly can't remember which shot went right and which one went left. Glad I'm left handed.

    Best wishes.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Frances. Poor old Lady M, she's tucked up by the fire, asking for tea.

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