Thursday 6 August 2015

Strange Nights.


                              Image search result for "Secretary"

Between school and college I had three jobs. Trainee Stockbroker (blue button), Art Gallery Manager, and Antiques Dealer. For some bizarre reason, two nights ago I dreamt about the gallery.

The Fine Art Gallery was situated in Devonshire Street W1, next door to Odin's restaurant (of Peter Langan fame). I originally went in to see if the owner would be interested in buying some of my dreadful 'impressionist style' paintings (which I had knocked-up at school).

Nicholas (Miklos) Vilag (an Einstein doppelgänger) said 'no thank you', but asked me if I'd be interested in a job; I replied 'yes please'. On hearing this he went to the top of the back room stairs and shouted down in his stentorian Hungarian voice "Richard... you're fired". I hadn't even started my new job, and already I felt bad. This poor young man came up from the storage room, gave me a withering look, grabbed his coat, and departed.

My workload soon became too much, and I asked Nicholas to hire me a secretary. He chose an unattractive wire-haired Swiss woman of about 25, called Arianne, who I soon discovered to be totally useless. He sacked her and replaced her with a slightly older woman who was 99% MAD. She spent all her spare time attaching feathers to the strings of her baby grand piano, so that it made a horrible noise. She was also totally useless as a secretary, and we soon got rid of her too.

I stayed at the gallery for about a year, in which time I met Stravinsky, became friendly with Paul McCartney, and had my photo taken by Nicholas with a naked 'high class call girl' on my lap. Life in the back room of the gallery was never dull.

The dreadful Arianne was the subject of my dream (nightmare?) two nights ago; goodness knows why she should suddenly invade my night-time peace! I hadn't thought about her for over 40 years.

I woke up remembering all the horrors about having had an inept secretary; something I've never had to deal with since, and certainly will never have to again;..... thank gawd!


LATER: This must be a record, because I've just had another strange dream (unusual for me). I was sitting in a pub next to an attractive woman of a certain age. She started to make 'advances' (nothing unusual in that), and was pressing her face gently against mine. The strange bit was that I could actually feel the softness of her skin, and could actually smell her sweet powdery perfume. I don't remember ever dreaming aromas before; it was all rather pleasant.



22 comments:

  1. Have you recently started or stopped taking drugs of any sort? That's usually when I have vivid/strange dreams. The second dream sounds nice, I hope they continue in that vein for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The second one was so vivid, even now I can smell her perfume and feel her skin. Very strange. And no; no change in my drug habits.

      Delete
  2. Cro, perhaps you were just a shit interviewer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was the owner who hired and fired.... I don't think he even asked if they could type; he just looked at certain physical attributes.

      Delete
  3. My most vivid dreams come when my sleep is broken, which is most of the time. I also act them out in my sleep; my poor husband!

    You've had an interesting life. =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Living in central London is always interesting,

      Delete
  4. I had a job in an art gallery when I was 18. The duties were many and varied and some took place in the flat above the gallery. My typing skills were not tested.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasn't in Devonshire Street, by any chance?

      Delete
  5. I also had a strange dream, I was in Trelawnyd in my dream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's called a 'nightmare' Yael.

      Delete
    2. No it was not, it was a nice and quiet dream:)

      Delete
  6. Have you still got that photo with the girl on your lap?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never did have it.... he kept it for his private collection.

      Delete
  7. Very interesting. The Life And Times Of Cro.
    I was once hired as a fire alarm tester. My fire alarm testing skills were not tested. Luckily I found I was quite good at it. But my boss kept testing me in other ways.
    I recently found out that some years before he had done time for rape.
    Luckily my Fire Alarm Testing duties kept me out of the office for 39.5 hours out of every 40 hour week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frankly, If you answer an ad' requiring a Fire Alarm Tester, you should have been suspicious. So how was that .5 hr back at the office? Four minute mile?

      Delete
  8. Dreams/dreamers are strange things. I can remember most all of my dreams I've ever had, in technicolor no less. I've also had prophetic dreams; the last one, not long ago, was a Freud looking fellow who looked at me and told me I had until November. What? Am I to die, something dire to occur? One dream of a few years ago, a woman told me to "follow the crystalline or crystal line". I still have not figured that one out; there are 200,001 different anagrams for that line. I think I would rather not dream. My husband says they are nothing more than electrical impulses in the brain and mean nothing. That said, before we found out he had cancer, a young man with startling blue eyes in a fishing hat told me in a dream that he was sick. Native American Indians believe dreams are your future or past.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always thought that it was the brain trying to calculate something or other. I don't have lucid dreams that often, so I remain perplexed.

      Delete
  9. I've had some more vivid dreams lately, too. In one, I was with a number of people I know but they don't know each other, although we all did in the dream. We were in a dark paneled entryway, waiting for something, like a trial. The man seated next to me said something that got me to laughing so hard my stomach hurt. We all laughed, and tried to do so quietly, which only prolonged the laughter. I woke up and was clutching my stomach. I can't recall what he said, but that dream laugh did me a world of good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds really good, I've never had a 'laughing' dream.

      Delete
  10. these dreams are progressing to the stage where I wonder whether you will eventually be able to publish the unexpurgated version!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's now a day later and I can still recall the aroma of the perfume.... Maybe Lady M was having fun at my expense.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...